Sometimes I think I don't exist.

Check this out.

Today has been rather uneventful. Mike took me out to dinner with Pete, Spears, Myriah, and a few other people. Mike was sick this past weekend, but it was refreshing to have some quality time with him. We talked a lot last night about the future and whatnot. It was good.

Some friends of ours seem to be calling their marriage a quits... That really sucks. Everyone keeps saying that they saw it coming, and that it was only a matter of time. I guess they were right. I mean, the pairing was a drama queen and an apathetic dude. It just didn't mix. The girl did the leaving... She's tried several times before. Now, the guy is saying that he's suicidal, but promised her that he wouldn't kill himself. I feel sorry for them both. I just don't get it.

Also, another friend of mine who was there for me when I really needed her is going through a rough relational period. I... Don't know what to say. Heartbreak is... Heartbreak. About a week ago, I made an entry about how so many people are falling in love and getting engaged... And now I'm mentioning all of these relationships that are falling apart. Love can be so strong, and yet so brittle...

And now I'm kind of depressed.

I don't know where my life is headed. I feel like I haven't really accomplished anything other than becoming who I am and finding someone as lovely as Michael... But being who I am is really nothing to brag about, and, as close to home and blantantly obvious as it has become lately, relationships don't always last forever, whether they're started with the best of intentions and the deepest love or not.

When I grow up, I want to be a rock. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I want to be someone who doesn't waver. Who has faith and peace and wisdom. I don't want to be boring and dusty, but I want to be someone that anyone can come to for sympathy, empathy, advice, and/or comfort. I want to be creative and intelligent. I want to have a husband who can love me and never be embarrassed of me. I want to be a rock.

I hate seeing these wives and mothers... In real life and in the media... Who are crazy, oblivious, ignorant, judgemental, rude, lazy, vain, snobbish, and/or pathetic. I sincerely hope I never become anything like that. Oh, I'm sure I'll have my moments, but, overall, I hope I become a rock.