April 17, 2005

No Children

I hope that our few remaining friends
give up on trying to save us.
I hope we come out with a fail-safe plot
to piss off the dumb few that forgave us.

I hope the fences we mended
fall down beneath their own weight.
And I hope we hang on past the last exit,
I hope it's already too late.

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
someday burns down.
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away,
and I never come back to this town again.

In my life, I hope I lie,
and tell everyone you were a good wife.
And I hope you die,
I hope we both die.

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow;
I hope it bleeds all day long.
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises;
we're pretty sure they're all wrong.

I hope it stays dark forever,
I hope the worst isn't over.
And I hope you blink before I do,
and I hope I never get sober.

And I hope when you think of me years down the line,
you can't find one good thing to say.
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out,
you'd stay the hell out of my way.

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me,
hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die,
I hope we both die.

April 01, 2005

Yesterday, Today, Tonight, and Tomorrow

I just want to make a new entry here so that that old one moves down a notch.

Today, a nap on the beach with Chris & co. turned out to be a beautiful thing. We were nearly stormed upon, and someone apparently used some sort of witchcraft to cast a spell on us, but, other than that, things went very well.

I can be so cute. You have no idea.

Tomorrow, I am doing nothing whilst both Myriah and Chris work. Hoorah. :(

Cuddling is one of the greatest things in my world.

I was thinking... Um... Yesterday... About what I want to get out of my future. I know I definitely want to live outside of the US for a long time... And in a nice, big city like NYC, Seattle, or Chicago... But, I think I also want to write a book someday. Just for the hell of it. Probably not a novel. I don't know.

I want an apartment. Soon. Or a house of my own would be great, too... I found out one thing tonight. I am going to paint my breakfast room of sorts (and/or foyer and/or bathroom) the color of Tony Montana's mom's living room. Just thought you should know.

I'm pretty tired, I guess, so I should probably be going to bed in a moment or two.